My happiness is in many ways unexplainable & I believe that unless you are a mother who has loved, & nurtured a new life growing inside your womb, it's hard to fully explain the miraculous wonder happening right now in me. After 13 years since the birth of my first beautiful child, Alexis Ariel Smith, the Universe/God has blessed me with another lil peanut who will be here in 6 months on Xmas Day! This child is what I call my "Miracle Xmas Baby" and I can't wait to hold him. YES, I Mean HIM, because that's what I feel I'm having, a bubbling, musical baby boy. I call this new life a miracle because due to complications with fibroid tumors, I pretty much accepted that I wouldn't get another chance at mothering a precious baby again although in my heart & soul I have wanted it so badly. I ached for it maybe due to the fact that I truly believed it would not happen.
On Sunday June 19th I took a home pregnancy test & both tests came out positive! Wait, let me take that memory in once again, whoa so looks that's one test I passed! Really , I was going to be a mom again!!!! I immediately thanked God for this opportunity again. This led to a Doctor's appointment to verify the HPT which led to 2 ultrasounds in the same week. On June 23rd, I was able to see my baby for the first time who was already at 13 wks! A rambunctious lil fetus he is, flipping around inside that water sack like an olympic swimmer. A whole trimester had passed already and I felt a lil distressed because in those 13 weeks I went thru French Quarter Fest, Jazz Fest &other activities carrying on like a woman who is NOT pregnant but the body has a miraculous way of supporting a new budding lil life in those weeks and I have faith that if this lil guy is a fighter and that he is MEANT to be here. I also found out I had ANOTHER tumor growing alongside the baby as well, oh THAT's what's been hurting me for months! I knew it and wished I was wrong.
June 24th led to my 2nd ultrasound to detect any chromosome abnormalities like Down's Syndrome & again Baby Love once again was doing cart wheels in my uterus, there he was just as active as he was the day before. Those results came back and everything is NORMAL..yay! My only thought was "Ouch if he keeps up all this moving I'm gonna be hurting when he get's bigger" and I envisioned lil limbs poking thru my belly at the last trimester. I pray this is not the case but this baby might come out dancing or playing drums seeing as both parents are very musical!
I decided to start this blog in part to just catalog my pregnancy/thoughts/feeling/etc & talk about it with other mom's and also to just share the immense joy I feel. I am determined to not let anything or anyone upset me during this delicate time INSPITE of my raging hormones, my self proclaimed alter ego right now is named HORMONE HELENA! lol
And to my baby love: Just know that no mother ever wanted you more! I am in love with you already & my arms ache to hold you. I can't wait to see you again at the next ultrasound where we'll find out if your a boy or girl but I already know ,as I did with your sister, that you are a boy...hmmm what shall we call you??? In the meantime I hope your rocking out to all the music I've been playing for you. You should be well versed in the Beatles, Etta James, Keb Mo, Otis Redding, Nina Simone, Billy Holiday, Bonnie Raitt and Coltrane just to name a few. In a few weeks I will introduce you to Beethoven, Bach & Mozart. I love you Sunshine..lets get some sleep now, Lord knows your wearing me out already! Sweet dreams.
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